By Giselle Bridger
There is a fundamental tendency to identify with one of the polarities and overload it with meaning and attention, diminishing and rejecting the other side of existence, which basically makes life hard and filled with conflict as everything becomes then the proof of the experience of separation. To keep alive the identification with one side we are unconsciously compelled to keep the war alive by fuelling our tank with hatred for "the other".
As long as we believe we must make war to the unwanted - conflict will be our motor and motivation, our will power sits in defensiveness or aggression.
In the context of embodiment and somatic intelligence making peace with what scares us, what we hide from our own selves, what we reject and what we dislike, is the entry point: the gateway to wholeness.
If we think about it, when we feel whole, nothing is missing and there is a cellular peace within that makes us feel deeply relaxed and fulfilled. When we don't feel whole we know ourselves by the contrast of what is missing. Dis-ease, frustration, depression, anxiety, confusion .. in other words lack of Wholeness.
The lack of connection with self creates the need not only to fear the "other" but also to need the "other" in many different manifestations, to fill up the void.
This is definitely Old News, no shock in becoming aware that shopping, addictions to food, drugs or porn won't solve our unspoken and desperate longing for connection.
Connection is a state of being that can only happen within as a body felt experience, not something achieved by reading a book or figured out at the cognitive level.
The main reason why we feel disconnected from Source is because we are terrified to bring our awareness deep down into our guts, groins, sex organs and then be obliged to feel.
Our biggest fear is to die because we allow ourselves to feel. Die because we let "the other" in - whether this physical terror is located at the heart or in the sex organs, most of us is primordially scared to open up to the experience of meeting the "dark side of the moon"and allow her in.
Whether one is living in a female or male body and which gender one is identified with, we all cope with the original core wound of separation and have secluded our consciousness on one side of the spectrum and built our own protected fort on top of our safe mountain. When I refer to "other" I don't necessarily think about the opposite sex, I point at something vast and indescribable hard to pin point and for this reason, the conscious mind can believe it has to do with the opposite gender. Whereas when we courageously meet our fear & terror we dive into ourselves. The leap is always an internal jump where the interface of Fear is Love.
We can only meet love, feel loved, experience love as union, as safety, as beauty and as ultimate completion, when we open our heart to what we fear the most. No need to go out and do scary life threatening things, it's more and internal agreement and willingness to stop avoiding and bypassing our own shadow. That's why Love is never "out there", but as we all know it's easier said than done to meet and fully be with what we fear with unwavering will.
But the beautiful thing is that the power of presence transmutes darkness into light, or better said, it gives us the strength to be with the intensity and paradoxical coexistence of darkness and light within the same space of perception, the dynamic tension of the opposites is the context that expands our mind from functioning digitally to fractally. We quit bouncing in between polarities, we begin to flow and expand including everything in our experience as it is. As we toughen up the muscles that show us to "be with" instead of "react to", intensity instead of being scary, becomes a natural state that we bare with courage and love.